Case of the Cray Cray: Lea & Cory Style

This post is dedicated to my friend Sara, who has been resisting the urge to purge like a bulimic model since hearing about this last week.

According to the rumblings on the street and on entertainment sites from here to Timbuktu, Lea Michele and Cory Monteith are dating. In the words of Jay Z and Kanye West… That shit cray!

I am so certain that they are not really dating that I am willing to bet you my ovaries and toss in a kidney while I’m at it. I won’t buy it even if she’s pregnant and gives birth to an oversized Canadian baby. I’d still chuckle and say, “That shit cray.”

There’s a little something called Public Relations and Marketing that works behind the scenes of everything from your favorite celebrity to the brand of body wash you use. Yep, next time you’re showering, think about how someone else influenced you to rub that all over yourself.

That’s not to say all people are mindless fools who take everything at face value; but if you look at the comments section on all these Lea and Cory articles, you see tweens who don’t know the difference between ‘their’ ‘they’re’ and ‘there’ freaking out because “OMG FINCHEL IS REAL OMG I LOVE THEM!” Gag.

As someone who went to school for and worked in the Public Relations field, I think I have a pretty solid idea of a Showmance when I see one. I saw it with fellow Gleek Dianna Agron and her “boyfriend” Alex Pettyfer to promote their movie I Am Number 4. That story went as far to say they were engaged a week before the movie came out and then as soon as it did, and bombed, they announced their breakup. When later asked about her ‘romance,’ she stated, “Who even said we were together?” Preach!

In the case of Lea and Cory, it’s all too convenient to pair them up. It’s also pathetic. Fox executives are so desperate to hold on to their Glee money boat. With ratings dropping solidly every week, and outlandish episodes like Michael Jackson not even bringing in an audience, they had to turn to Plan B. What’s the fastest way to get people interested? Say that your leading stars and on-screen couple are now dating in real life. And what PERFECT timing to leak this story on the day that their characters are slated to get married!

I refer to this as the Mr. & Mrs. Smith Effect. Ever since the filming of that movie, when rumors were swirling about Brangelina, everyone wants to be a copycat. They just forget that Brangelina had real chemistry and that’s why the movie was so damn good- it was believable! Lea and Cory? They have about as much as on-screen chemistry as you and the homeless person you pass in the subway station every day. And you expect us to believe they’re together in real life? L-O-L has never had more meaning.

So even if we get some sort of PDA heavy pictures soon, I will know they were staged with paparazzi. Just like Dianna and new fake beau Sebastian Stan on Valentine’s Day. Anyone sensing the bigger picture here?

My guess is that neither party will address the issue for the next 7 weeks. Obviously, their people will want to keep the mystery alive during the hiatus. Because wondering about the outcome of a car crash isn’t enough! Then depending on the fate of Finchel, they may either confirm their “relationship” or put the rumors to rest. If they go with the “together” route, they’ll undoubtedly “break up” over the summer but “vow to remain friends” and on to season 4 they go.

It’s all just so transparent. There’s a reason they say less is more. That’s because the couple that stays out of the limelight is hidden for a reason. Right Dianna?

 

Thou Shall Not Play Music Over Meryl Streep

The 11th Commandment has been written:

Thou Shall Not Play Music Over Meryl Streep

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association committed a sin at last night’s Golden Globes by playing music over the phenomenal actress as she accepted her statue for Best Actress in a Drama. It’s only her 8th Golden Globe; who are they to cut into her time being utterly adorable realizing she forgot her glasses and couldn’t read her speech?  To cut Meryl off is the equivalent of interrupting God.

Aside from that, the 69th annual Globes were relatively calm and sedated, especially given that the controversial Ricky Gervais was hosting again. He managed to get a few good punches in but was completely upstaged by Madonna who fought back to her like a virgin stab by comparing him to a girl. While the show itself was tame and considered boring by the critics, it was a joy to watch because for the most part, those who deserved to win walked away with statues.

Especially deserving was Octavia Spencer for her great performance in The Help. It was heart warming to see her reaction, and that of Melissa McCarthy who cried as Octavia began her speech. Sadly, Bridesmaids didn’t win for Best Comedy or Musical, but this show proved that no creative dream is impossible as The Artist was the night’s biggest winner along with The Descendants.

Fashion was also one of the biggest winners of the night with a great variety of colors and styles walking the carpet. Even with a tough classy competition,  these ladies managed to stand out amongst the crowd:

Angelina Jolie, Kate Beckinsale, Lea Michele, Dianna Agron, and Claire Danes.

While these dresses were just as bad as Kelly Osbourne’s hair:

Kelly Osbourne, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Piper Perabo

With Oscar nominations only 8 days away, the award season is just kicking off and the Globes were the perfect appetizer. Hopefully the Academy doesn’t break the 11th Commandment when they hand Meryl her 3rd Oscar.

Lea Michele Too Sexy? Or Not Sexy Enough?

Enter from stage left, Lea Michele channeling Julie Andrews belting:

The news is alive with the sounds of sexism.

Okay, so Lea hasn’t been doing her own rendition of The Sound of Music but I think she should. For the second time, Lea has come under fire for being “too sexy” on a magazine cover. Compared to other magazine covers in recent years, she’s actually not sexy enough!

Lea is gracing the cover of March’s Cosmopolitan Magazine and she looks great! But people like those right winged agenda pushing fools at Fox News call her a “bad role model for children.” First of all, there is chaos breaking out in Egypt, horrendous weather in the Northeast, and economic downfalls still occurring and Fox News wants to focus on Lea Michele’s boobs?!

An “outraged parent” is even quoted as saying,

“I think Lea Michele is sending the wrong message. She plays such a ‘good girl’ on Glee and a lot of kids look up to her persona. Then she poses very provocatively on two magazine covers which makes my almost-13-year-old son very confused and offended.”

Hate to break it to you lady, but your son either  A- needs to be tested for brain problems if he can’t tell the difference between reality and fiction, B- is actually excited, if you know what I mean C- gay; hence his confusion.

And if you let your child read Cosmopolitan to begin with, you’re a bad parent! Do you really want him/her knowing the sex position of the month at the age of 13? Also, Glee isn’t the ideal program for them either. Just put a Justin Bieber CD on instead and let them twirl themselves to sleep every Tuesday night where they’ll dream about brushing his hair with their fingertips.

Glee features characters in high school that engage in sexual activity, fights, and all those other things that teenagers do. If you can’t stomach the fact that not every teenager is a celibate hermit, then please refrain from watching the show, trolling Glee sites, and ruining the fun for everyone else.

But to then extend it to the actresses on the show who are partaking in other ventures for their career is just ludicrous. Lea is 24 years old. She’s a ‘Fun Fearless Female’ just like the slogan for Cosmopolitan. She has every right to be on that cover looking sexy. She has NO obligation to remain Rachel Berry every single second of her life. There is a line to be drawn between characters and the people who play them and I’m starting to believe that there is a huge male agenda against the women of Glee. Lea and Dianna faced hell for the GQ cover, Jenna Ushkowitz was basically called fat at the SAG Awards, and people talk about Naya Rivera like she actually is Santana Lopez. What. The. Hell.

The sexism is screaming loudly and it’s sickening. Robert Pattinson can pose without a shirt on a cover of a magazine and TwiHard moms don’t complain. They don’t say “Oh my God, my eyes! My poor child will be traumatized seeing him not sparkle!” No. Men can pose “sexy” all they want and no one ever says “Whoa, too much.” But time and time again, women are criticized.

Women are just not treated properly and something as simple as a magazine outcry is an example of that. People still want women to be boring and silenced like it’s 1909. Even female doctors are feeling the backlash of sexism these days. I guess the only way to get paid properly is to play a doctor on TV; but then again, if Ellen Pompeo posed with a little cleavage, you better stop the press and alert the Parents Television Council!