Tony Parker is a Tool

And not a chainsaw. More like a dull rusty indistinguishable object that has been sitting in the shed of an oversized lazy man’s shed for the past 15 years.

Only a tool could be so pathetic to say “I knew Eva would divorce me” and express no emotion. He expected it because he knew he’d get caught eventually.

Not that many people aside from San Antonio Spurs fans really care about Tony Parker, but it’s still disgusting to see how their divorce is unraveling. He spent the past year exchanging texts, (or shall I say sexts) with  Erin Barry, the wife of his former teammate! How low can you go?!

Didn’t he learn anything from Tiger Woods? Hm, now that I mention it they kind of look-alike. Long lost loser siblings.

Athletes cannot be trusted. They give in too easily to the adoration fans give them because they think that their oversized contract can make up for smaller things like their pea sized brains and non-existent hearts. Athletes are proving themselves to be nothing but egotistical chauvinistic pigs.

Congrats Parker, you just pulled an A-Rod. But don’t think you’ll be getting Madonna as a consolation prize.


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