Case of the Cray Cray: Lea & Cory Style

This post is dedicated to my friend Sara, who has been resisting the urge to purge like a bulimic model since hearing about this last week.

According to the rumblings on the street and on entertainment sites from here to Timbuktu, Lea Michele and Cory Monteith are dating. In the words of Jay Z and Kanye West… That shit cray!

I am so certain that they are not really dating that I am willing to bet you my ovaries and toss in a kidney while I’m at it. I won’t buy it even if she’s pregnant and gives birth to an oversized Canadian baby. I’d still chuckle and say, “That shit cray.”

There’s a little something called Public Relations and Marketing that works behind the scenes of everything from your favorite celebrity to the brand of body wash you use. Yep, next time you’re showering, think about how someone else influenced you to rub that all over yourself.

That’s not to say all people are mindless fools who take everything at face value; but if you look at the comments section on all these Lea and Cory articles, you see tweens who don’t know the difference between ‘their’ ‘they’re’ and ‘there’ freaking out because “OMG FINCHEL IS REAL OMG I LOVE THEM!” Gag.

As someone who went to school for and worked in the Public Relations field, I think I have a pretty solid idea of a Showmance when I see one. I saw it with fellow Gleek Dianna Agron and her “boyfriend” Alex Pettyfer to promote their movie I Am Number 4. That story went as far to say they were engaged a week before the movie came out and then as soon as it did, and bombed, they announced their breakup. When later asked about her ‘romance,’ she stated, “Who even said we were together?” Preach!

In the case of Lea and Cory, it’s all too convenient to pair them up. It’s also pathetic. Fox executives are so desperate to hold on to their Glee money boat. With ratings dropping solidly every week, and outlandish episodes like Michael Jackson not even bringing in an audience, they had to turn to Plan B. What’s the fastest way to get people interested? Say that your leading stars and on-screen couple are now dating in real life. And what PERFECT timing to leak this story on the day that their characters are slated to get married!

I refer to this as the Mr. & Mrs. Smith Effect. Ever since the filming of that movie, when rumors were swirling about Brangelina, everyone wants to be a copycat. They just forget that Brangelina had real chemistry and that’s why the movie was so damn good- it was believable! Lea and Cory? They have about as much as on-screen chemistry as you and the homeless person you pass in the subway station every day. And you expect us to believe they’re together in real life? L-O-L has never had more meaning.

So even if we get some sort of PDA heavy pictures soon, I will know they were staged with paparazzi. Just like Dianna and new fake beau Sebastian Stan on Valentine’s Day. Anyone sensing the bigger picture here?

My guess is that neither party will address the issue for the next 7 weeks. Obviously, their people will want to keep the mystery alive during the hiatus. Because wondering about the outcome of a car crash isn’t enough! Then depending on the fate of Finchel, they may either confirm their “relationship” or put the rumors to rest. If they go with the “together” route, they’ll undoubtedly “break up” over the summer but “vow to remain friends” and on to season 4 they go.

It’s all just so transparent. There’s a reason they say less is more. That’s because the couple that stays out of the limelight is hidden for a reason. Right Dianna?

 

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10 comments

  1. Sara · February 29, 2012

    Thank you for putting all the thoughts that make me wanna throw up into a well written blog…as opposed to my “fhsicnfuebaj wtf is this nonsense” that I use to describe this scenario. I know for a fact this is going to continue until after the hiatus and possibly after but in the end, at least we know the truth haha. Tell em girlfriendddddd 😉

  2. hamm · March 24, 2012

    Clapping. This is so spot on. I’m happy to see that rational adults know better…

  3. Jane · March 30, 2012

    I agree. Thank you for your post. I’m happy I can see people who are not dumb and blind.

  4. Ana Carolina Teles · March 30, 2012

    Oh man… I’m so in love for this post! I read so many times, because is so complete and I just think the same way, with all these details. And, the: “Right, Dianna?” closes the article with key of golden. Well… So good that still have smart people in the world! Xo ;D

    • nrmurph · March 30, 2012

      Thanks so much! I’m glad you’re a fellow smart person in the world 🙂

  5. Camila Mello · March 30, 2012

    THIS!

  6. Pingback: Shipping Wars: Destroying the Internet Since Forever « Murphy's Musings
  7. Shelly · May 3, 2012

    I love the article. People tend to forget that Lea once said that Cory was like a brother to her and that if anyone on the show was going to date it would have happened a long time ago. The timing of the leak about their relationship should throw up red flags for people, but like you said it’s just a bunch of teenage kids that have no idea what real life is like. Excellent article

    • nrmurph · May 3, 2012

      Thank you for the great comment. The timing is the biggest red flag that it’s a sham. She even said filming their “sex” scene was gross so yeah, that’s definitely blossoming love.

  8. kirsten · November 9, 2012

    you wrote this february you nearly guessed everything right OMG you are awesome can you write a new one 😀 maybe with parallels of glee and their “relationship” ? THIS MADE MY DAY REALLY! thank you

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