Case of the Cray Cray: Lea & Cory Style

This post is dedicated to my friend Sara, who has been resisting the urge to purge like a bulimic model since hearing about this last week.

According to the rumblings on the street and on entertainment sites from here to Timbuktu, Lea Michele and Cory Monteith are dating. In the words of Jay Z and Kanye West… That shit cray!

I am so certain that they are not really dating that I am willing to bet you my ovaries and toss in a kidney while I’m at it. I won’t buy it even if she’s pregnant and gives birth to an oversized Canadian baby. I’d still chuckle and say, “That shit cray.”

There’s a little something called Public Relations and Marketing that works behind the scenes of everything from your favorite celebrity to the brand of body wash you use. Yep, next time you’re showering, think about how someone else influenced you to rub that all over yourself.

That’s not to say all people are mindless fools who take everything at face value; but if you look at the comments section on all these Lea and Cory articles, you see tweens who don’t know the difference between ‘their’ ‘they’re’ and ‘there’ freaking out because “OMG FINCHEL IS REAL OMG I LOVE THEM!” Gag.

As someone who went to school for and worked in the Public Relations field, I think I have a pretty solid idea of a Showmance when I see one. I saw it with fellow Gleek Dianna Agron and her “boyfriend” Alex Pettyfer to promote their movie I Am Number 4. That story went as far to say they were engaged a week before the movie came out and then as soon as it did, and bombed, they announced their breakup. When later asked about her ‘romance,’ she stated, “Who even said we were together?” Preach!

In the case of Lea and Cory, it’s all too convenient to pair them up. It’s also pathetic. Fox executives are so desperate to hold on to their Glee money boat. With ratings dropping solidly every week, and outlandish episodes like Michael Jackson not even bringing in an audience, they had to turn to Plan B. What’s the fastest way to get people interested? Say that your leading stars and on-screen couple are now dating in real life. And what PERFECT timing to leak this story on the day that their characters are slated to get married!

I refer to this as the Mr. & Mrs. Smith Effect. Ever since the filming of that movie, when rumors were swirling about Brangelina, everyone wants to be a copycat. They just forget that Brangelina had real chemistry and that’s why the movie was so damn good- it was believable! Lea and Cory? They have about as much as on-screen chemistry as you and the homeless person you pass in the subway station every day. And you expect us to believe they’re together in real life? L-O-L has never had more meaning.

So even if we get some sort of PDA heavy pictures soon, I will know they were staged with paparazzi. Just like Dianna and new fake beau Sebastian Stan on Valentine’s Day. Anyone sensing the bigger picture here?

My guess is that neither party will address the issue for the next 7 weeks. Obviously, their people will want to keep the mystery alive during the hiatus. Because wondering about the outcome of a car crash isn’t enough! Then depending on the fate of Finchel, they may either confirm their “relationship” or put the rumors to rest. If they go with the “together” route, they’ll undoubtedly “break up” over the summer but “vow to remain friends” and on to season 4 they go.

It’s all just so transparent. There’s a reason they say less is more. That’s because the couple that stays out of the limelight is hidden for a reason. Right Dianna?