Grammy’s For Your Granny

Maybe music the past year just wasn’t as stellar as previous years. Maybe the artists chosen to perform just weren’t engaging enough. Or maybe, the Grammy’s were just boring.

There was more hoopla leading up to the show than the actual show itself. First, there was the talk about how the Grammy’s were inviting artists like Justin Timberlake, who was not nominated, to perform in order to create excitement and draw more viewers. Justin got to perform two songs while the nominated Frank Ocean, The Black Keys, and even Taylor Swift only got to perform one.

Then there was the “memo” that guests should dress appropriately in order to have a PG show. I guess CBS really isn’t over the Super Bowl Nipplegate of 2004. (Holy crap, Batman! That was 9 years ago. Where does the time go?)

grammysJ-Lo and Katy Perry did a good job of defying those rules though. Part of J-Lo’s dress must have got caught up on the block and Katy just really wanted to keep John Mayer’s wandering eye on her California Girls. She really needs better taste in men. Sure, it was sweet that she brought Allison Williams with her as her date but that playboy boyfriend of hers was still there, probably cursing CBS for making the ladies cover up their assets.

If the fashion can’t be exciting, at least let the show be so! Last year Adele swept the boards and the show still had momentum! This year it was boring. So boring that at 9:00 I switched over to watch Girls only to tune back in to see Lena Dunham with fun. boyfriend Jack Antonoff. It was unfortunate that fun. won Best New Artist. “We Are Young” is a decent song, but as an album, Some Nights pales in comparison to Frank Ocean’s Channel Orange. It would have been nice to see Frank win more than just Best Urban Contemporary Album and Collaboration on “No Church In the Wild.” Maybe one day the Grammy’s will stop being so narrow-minded.

And speaking of disappointments, let’s not forget Rihanna. Four years ago before the Grammy’s, Chris Brown beat her. Last night, she cuddled up next to him acting like a couple “in love.” It’s unfortunate that my natural ChrisRiRifeeling is to slap some sense into her, because violence is wrong, but seriously RiRi- what are you thinking!?  Clearly you don’t aspire to be a role model with songs like “S&M” but you are an embarrassment to women everywhere. Shame on you forever.

Maybe next year I just won’t watch the Grammy’s, then I won’t be bored or disappointed. Unless Beyonce or Gaga are performing. Then you know the show will be worth watching.

Thursday Just Ain’t The Same

There was something weird about TV last night. And no, it wasn’t that I actually watched Glee and semi-enjoyed the ending (Santana in Brooklyn? Say what!). No, the strange part was that something was missing; something that’s been there every Thursday night for the past 7 years.

It was the first Thursday without 30 Rock.

30rockNo witty Liz Lemon. No savvy Jack Dononaghy. No ridiculous Tracy Jordan or Jenna Maroney. No naive Kenneth Parcell. No misfit writers.

It made me realize one thing: life without Tina Fey is just no fun. I know I will see Tina again, and not just in my daydreams where we are BFF’s sharing bottles of wine and laughs with Amy Poehler. Tina is starring in Admission alongside Paul Rudd, opening in theatres on March 22. (Yes, that’s a shameless plug for you to go support her). Entertainment Weekly told me that she’s also locked in a contract with Universal that will bring her back to TV sets everywhere around 2014. But what are we supposed to do until then?

Aside from watching Parks & Recreation and enjoying Poehler’s humor, we must wait. Except waiting is boring. So let’s take a moment to reflect on Liz Lemon & company’s finest moments as a way of saying thank you to Tina and NBC for creating quality comedy in a time of terrible television.

 

 

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler Are Golden

That squealing sound you heard in the distance? That wasn’t a cat in heat, or a child throwing a hissy fit because they lost the shoe to their Barbie/Lego man. No, that was me shrieking in joy because NBC just announced that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are co-hosting the Golden Globes in January. *Cue more squealing*

Yes, that’s right. Tina Flawless Fey and Amy Freaking Poehler, the funniest and wittiest ladies in the business are co-hosting the award show that should be giving them numerous awards (hopefully). Not only is this a much needed diversion from the former controversial host, Ricky Gervais, this is another step in the right direction in having females take the leading roles.

And it’s about time they hosted a show because these ladies are hilarious! From their days at Chicago’s Second City to Saturday Night Live, to films like Mean Girls, Baby Mama, and their hit shows  30 Rock and Parks & Recreation, can anyone name better ladies to host the Globes than these two? Nope, they are the cream of the crop.

January is still 3 months away so until then I will just keep on laughing with Liz Lemon and Leslie Knope and continue to read “Bossypants” like it’s my Bible.

Oops… They Did It Again

Let’s set the record straight: I love Britney Spears. I’ve been mildly obsessed for the past 14 years since “Baby One More Time” came out. I’ve seen her in concert 6 times, I own physical copies of every album, and at one point in my life, had pictures of her and Justin Timberlake all over my room. Yeah, I admit it.

That being said, I have a big problem with the twisted tales being published that Britney and her camp are outraged over last week’s Britney meltdown Glee episode. The reason I have a problem with it isn’t because I disagree- sure it was a little offensive to go after a touchy subject but it showed Brittany rise as a phoenix just like the real Britney did- I have a problem because there is just no way her camp “didn’t know.”

Britney is now FOX property. FOX pays her $14 million X-Factor paycheck. FOX is also the parent company of Glee. So you want to tell me that FOX allowed Glee to air that episode without running it by her majesty? No. Way.

I think this is a perfect example of carefully orchestrated PR. Glee has had relatively solid ratings in its new time slot after X-Factor, but what’s the best way to make sure it stays that way even though the show is progressively getting worse each week? Stir up some drama. Naturally people are going to be intrigued and tune in to X-Factor to see if Britney addresses it and then most likely continue to keep FOX on to see what Glee is up to now.

IF Britney honestly had no idea and was blindsided, then shame on FOX. I’d say shame on Glee but they already have enough things to be shameful for this season. Except for the absence of Finn Hudson. I greatly enjoy that. No matter what the true story is, she is on top of the world again because after all, it’s Britney, bitch!

 

Don’t Call Me – Maybe Listen to This Instead

Did you know that “Call Me Maybe” is the #1 Billboard track? Did you know that it has been #1 for five consecutive weeks? No? Me either.

I honestly thought this was just one of those dumb popular songs that sorority girls or silly drunk people sing with their friends in a car or at a bar, respectively. I would fear for my life if a drunk girl was driving and singing this song. They wouldn’t  be calling anyone. Except maybe 911.

I guess I’m a bit out of touch with pop-reality since I don’t listen to the radio, except for when my morning alarm goes off and I’m awakened to the sounds of a commercial trying to sell me some skin-care product that I will never purchase. I guess since I also try to distance myself from anyone who would ever enjoy this song, I had no clue that it is THAT popular. And man, that is a scary thought!

I’d like to take this time to introduce some much better new music to anyone reading who may unfortunately enjoy this song or Carly Rae Jepsen, who, no offense to her, seems like a one “hit” wonder, and doesn’t deserve such acclimation when she doesn’t even have an album out. Just saying; there are much more talented people out there. Like these fabulous folk:

 

1. Metric. Synthetica”- released June 12

Metric is one of my all time favorite bands. Every song is jam-packed with emotion and delivered by the incredibly talented and sultry Emily Haines. Synthetica is their 5th album, and picking a favorite track is really difficult when they’re all so good. Listen to their first single “Youth Without Youth” to get an idea of just how fed up they are with society too. I wonder what Emily thinks about “Call Me Maybe?”

2. Friends. “Manifest!”- released June 7

Indie Brooklyn-based band Friends haven’t broken into the mainstream yet, although their songs are played on Sirius XMU & Alt Nation. They’re a fun band to watch grow and after seeing them live in the back of a bar in Williamsburg several months ago and hearing their full album, I’m sure they’re going to go on and do great things. “Friend Crush” is the first song of theirs I heard and still love.

 3. Fiona Apple. “The Idler Wheel Is Wiser than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More than Ropes Will Ever Do” – released June 19

The “Criminal” songstress is back after 7 years! It’s a true breath of fresh air to hear her again. While the title of her album is lengthy, you can certainly tell it’s got a lot of depth to it. “Every Single Night” is a song that has been stuck in my head every single day since I’ve heard it. Welcome back Fiona, don’t go away for that long ever again.

 

4. Grace Potter & the Nocturnals. “The Lion The Beast The Beat” – released June 12

 I’ve only recently gotten into this band and I’m sad that I missed out on so much good music in the past! I love female fronted rock bands; they truly stand out from the rest. They’re a little bit country, a little bit rock-n-roll, which is a nice combo that I’m certainly enjoying listening to. “Paris (Oh La La)” is my current jam but it’s from their 2010 self entitled album.

5. Frank Ocean. “Channel Orange” – to be released July 17

I usually don’t listen to hip-hop/rap artists, with the exception of some Jay-Z, but Frank Ocean is just so smooth and generally less vulgar (“Novocaine” aside). I’m eager to hear his full album when it’s released on Tuesday. I think he has a lot of potential to be a huge influence in the hip-hop/rap community and maybe show the others that you don’t have to curse in every single line to be tough.

 

RIP Nora Ephron: Writer, Filmmaker, New Yorker, Inspiration

I always felt an odd connection to Nora Ephron. It was odd in the sense that we were complete strangers that never met and had nothing in common other than a love for writing, film, New York, and a shared name. When I saw the breaking news headline last evening that she was “gravely ill” and not expected to make it through the night, I was immediately gutted. I didn’t know if I should pop in You’ve Got Mail or Sleepless in Seattle or read some of her witty articles in the New Yorker. I just wanted to feel that connection and smile like I had a few months ago when I read her book “I Feel Bad About My Neck.” Mere minutes later, it was reported that Nora had passed away at the tender age of 71 and one thing is for certain: she was taken too soon.

By penning classic films such as When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You’ve Got Mail, in addition to published essays, novels, cookbooks, and plays, her talent was immense and such a rare joy to see in Hollywood. How often do women shine in the business as writers or directors? Not often enough.

From paper to the silver screen to the theater, Nora’s voice always shined in her work and had that quintessential New York attitude to it. As a native herself who was a staple on the Upper East Side, especially at Elaine’s before its close last year, all of her work had an authentic feel. She made you feel like you were a part of the action, and that’s a testament to good writing.

I don’t know how she managed to be so good at everything she did but I will spend my life trying to imitate her by saying, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

RIP Nora Ephron

May 19, 1941 – June 26, 2012

Jubilation Over Glee Graduation

General fan consensus on the Internet is that Tuesday’s Glee Graduation was a terrible episode. I feel like I am in the minority of those who loved it. Why, you ask? Because

FINCHEL IS OVER!!!!!

The entire episode could have been of babies crying, sad puppies, and a world without chocolate but if it ended with a Finchel breakup I would still love it! The first thing that Finn Hudson has ever done right in his entire existence is breakup with Rachel so she could go to New York and follow her dreams at NYADA. All the other drama and trauma of their relationship is now irrelevant all summer long, until September when I’m sure the writers will return my strife in the form of Finn magically appearing in New York with her. Yet until then, I will rejoice because Rachel Berry is in New York, without Finn Hudson!

Also possibly coming to New York? Santana! Do you know what I would do if they actually filmed here in New York? I would quit my job, start taking singing/dancing lessons, and offer to pick up the poop of Naya Rivera’s dog. If she even has a dog, I’m not sure. In order to get on the show, I’d pretty much do anything, except engage in fake Monchele support. I draw the line there.

While I’m plotting ways to have a new career change, the rest of the cast is moving on as well. Mercedes is off to UCLA while also being a backup singer in an indie band. Mike Chang will continue to be a dancing machine. Quinn is off to Yale but still plans on seeing Rachel with that pricey buss pass she bought her. Hello, Faberry. It feels like we’ve seen the last of Amber Riley, Harry Shum Jr. and Dianna Agron, yet according to Ryan Murphy, everyone is returning next year. But it’s hard to see how these characters, aside from Quinn, will really fit in between the New York/Ohio storylines.

Puck will be a Lima Loser. Kurt now has no plans, except to be with Blaine. Finn is off to the Army. Brittany got left back, and Santana is contemplating staying in Lima to be with her, but the allure of New York is calling her name. And can we just acknowledge that Gloria Estefan is adorable and should have been brought on as Mama Lopez many episodes ago instead of the season finale?

A finale that had many tears shed by the characters but none by me (Shocking). It just wasn’t emotionally compelling. Aside from the flashbacks to previous seasons, most notably Burt doing the “Single Ladies” dance, nothing tugged at the heart. Graduation was distracting more than anything because I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of school doesn’t announce graduates in alphabetical order. It was all more like a “see you later” than an actual “Goodbye.” At the end of the day, that’s okay. I’m just happy to have a few months off from this show because it’s far too consuming.

Just like kids say before summer break: Hey Glee, see you in September! Sadly