Girl on Fire

Lena Dunham is on fire. Not only does she have a hit TV show that is a perfect portrayal of the confusion of post-collegiate life and have a book on the way, but she keeps winning awards. First there were her Golden Globe wins for Best Actress and Best Comedy. Then last night came her Writer’s Guild win for Best New Series. Between those two events, her boyfriend won some Grammy’s but that’s irrelevant. Did I mention she’s on the cover of this LenaRollingweek’s Rolling Stone?

Every week, Girls just seems to get better and better. I find myself desperately wanting to talk to friends about what happened, about how I can relate, and how for a second, it makes me feel like I’m not alone in my confusion. But then I remember that this is fiction and I’m not really Marnie because Marnie is actually Allison Williams who has a famous dad and famous friends. But for those 30 minutes, I am every one of those girls.

I would love to sit down and ask Lena just how she does it. How does she know how much life can suck when everything is going so fantastic for her? Because really now: Marnie and Jessa are messes, Hannah is drifting along, and Shoshanna is an innocent flower that’s most likely about to be ripped from the ground and float into the abyss. That’s all a true testament of Lena’s writing skills- she’s always able to churn out crap for her characters yet be walking on sunshine in real life.

I keep hoping that one night I’m going to casually run into Lena in Williamsburg where I will stand out for not being hipster enough and she’ll be like, “You’re a fish out of water, I’m going to make you a character on Girls.” And then I will proceed to squeal like a flamingo and she will walk away. Yeah, that’s exactly what would happen. At least then I’d have a story to tell.


It’s All Coming Back To Me Now

Glee should always air for 2 hours. Correction: Glee should always air for 2 hours when it was as good and magical as it was last night. “Props” and “Nationals” were solid and well written episodes. Especially if you mute the TV every time Finchel has a scene. Then it’s phenomenal!

My only complaint in the entire 2 hours is that they didn’t let the body swap last for nearly long enough. I was just getting used to Puck as Blaine and Rachel as Tina when they pulled us back into reality. I could have certainly had some more Santana mimicking Artie and Quinn as the giddy Sugar. Spot on. Yet, it served its purpose to bring Tina Cohen-Chang front and center for an episode. Finally! How long have I been complaining that Tina is ignored? Long enough for me to receive a text message last night stating: “I think the writers read your blog.” So, on that note, thank you very much for taking my thoughts into consideration. Please hire me for season 4, I have some fresh ideas I would love to share with the world. Call me!

While Props tidied up the lingering Coach Bieste domestic abuse storyline, Puck’s angst, and Rachel’s quest for acceptance into NYADA, “Nationals” brought us back to what Glee is really about. The music. The camaraderie. The desire to make a dream come true. While Brittany lost her pillow and blanket out the window (disaster!) everyone started fighting over dance moves. So Santana unleashed her rage and gave everyone a piece of her mind before Mr. Schue was there to remind the kids that they want to win so badly; that their last Nationals meant that much to them. And to us viewers at home, who have watched these kids struggle at coming in #1 when it mattered.

On stage, they were flawless. Lea Michele gave Celine Dion a run for her money  on “All Coming Back To Me Now.” That voice could move mountains I swear. Add in the ladies going to the “Edge of Glory” and back again for “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” and you have one solid performance. For the first time ever, I agreed with Lindsay Lohan. Those New Directions were great. Everybody appreciates a comeback, especially Ms. Lohan. And it’s a good thing the judges agreed because we never would have gotten to see those happy faces accepting their trophy and marching back to McKingley.


“Tongue Tied” is not only one of my favorite songs of the past few months, but it’s also now associated with my favorite Glee scene of all time. This montage was so beautiful and happy, that yes, I cried. It was just so perfect! The fear of rejection turned into complete praise, jubilation, confetti, sparkling cider, dip kisses in the hall, Emma going all the way, just everything that I imagine heaven to be like. Minus Finchel. I still think that’s hell.

These 2 episodes have had me thinking about my own high school graduation quite a lot. And with next week’s “Goodbye” episode, I think I’ll cry more than my own graduation because at least I knew I would see my friends again. My fictional friends, I may never see again.

Damn all these feelings, coming back to me now

A Prehistoric Prom-Asaurus

When I went to prom 7 years ago, it certainly wasn’t as fun/dramatic as McKinley’s. First off, there were no Kings and Queens since it was a private Catholic school, and singling two people out wouldn’t be “right.” Like Rachel, I had no chance at winning Prom Queen because I wasn’t one of those popular girls. But much like Santana and Quinn, I sure as hell would have liked to win it if the crown fit.

Except they both had the chance to crown themselves. Quinn was the victor, fair and square, with Santana only one vote behind her. They had the power to ensure that one of them would win but in what is by far, the most character growth amidst the 3 seasons, they did what they considered the right thing. Santana didn’t want to be Queen if Brittany wasn’t King. That is simply beautiful compared to her desperate plea to win last year with her beard Karofsky. There is a tiara collection in the Fabray household, and last year Quinn slapped Rachel across the face because she blamed her for ruining her chances at winning. This year, they both sabotaged the votes and handed in a card that stated that Rachel Berry won on write-in votes.

Part of me didn’t like that Rachel won because it shows her complete lack of growth. She is supposed to be the girl that doesn’t care about popularity or boys; just her Broadway dreams. She completely lost that this year and by only caring about her fiancé and now getting the quintessential (no pun intended, but man, was Faberry on last night or what?) high school title, she seems to only care about what happens in her life with Finn. Barf.

Quinntana looked a whole lot more excited and pleased than Finn, which yet again just proves that Finchel sucks! He screamed at Quinn (completely ruining “Love You Like a Love Song”. Rude) to get up and walk when in season one, he pretended to be handicapped in order to get a job. Hypocrite much? Quinn stood on that stage and sang “Take My Breath Away” for you and your girlfriend, how about some gratitude? It’s sad that I think my Finchel hate has only escalated because of my hate of Monchele, which needs to end immediately. I never want to see or hear anything Monchele related again in my life.

I also don’t want to see double standards and prehistoric thinking. I lost track of how many times Finchel kissed last night, as well as all the random students shown making out. Why do we always get to see that, but Brittana and Klaine get nothing? All of this ironically occurring at the same time North Carolina passed a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage. Glee is supposed to be paving the way for television and it’s not doing a very thorough job, but again, only mature viewers will be aware of these travesties because we’re in touch with reality. Although if I don’t stop singing “Love You Like A Love Song” and “Dinosaur,” I may just wind up locked up in a psychiatric hospital, rocking myself back and forth in rhyme. Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll share a room with Brittany since everyone thought she was crazy for her prehistoric dinosaur prom theme- which was pretty awesome if you ask me.

Also awesome: Becky Jackson. I love angry Becky. I love rude Becky. I just love Becky because she tells it like it is and doesn’t care what people think about her. She had hopes of being Prom Queen too and people looking at her for the right reason (aw!) and none other than Noah Puckerman crowned her with a beer box crown. Keeping it classy Puckerman, I approve.

There are only 3 episodes left, including next week’s 2 hour 2 episode extravaganza. I don’t think we’re ready for this jelly.

Just Can’t Shake Glee Out

Last week, I avoided processing my feelings on the Whitney Houston episode because I felt like it fell flat and didn’t do justice to the late songstress. This week, some new heavy issues were addressed and Glee yet again proved itself unable to handle sensitive issues properly. I mean, they titled the train-wreck “Choke.” Because that was a great title for an episode that features spousal abuse. Bravo.

That being said, the domestic abuse storyline with Coach Beiste was completely unexpected and saddening. The initial lecture to Santana, Brittany, Mercedes, Tina and Sugar seemed to be just another attempt of Glee hitting a hard message home, but it soon became all too real all during song. I have been anxiously awaiting the Glee ladies’ rendition of “Cell Block Tango” since 2009. It was #3 on my most needed covers (#1. Spice Girls- Wannabe, #2. Rent- Seasons of Love). So to see them finally do it was quite literally music to my ears, but the context was much less enjoyable since the tango was juxtaposed with images proving that Beiste was actually beaten by her husband.

For the duration of the episode, we had these Beiste-girl centric moments, that concluded with a beautiful acoustic version of Florence + the Machine’s “Shake It Out.”

This emotional storyline tried to teach a lesson to leave a man who abuses you, except Beiste returned to him and didn’t really move in with her sister. Heartbreaking. And also disappointing because it would have been nice to see a Glee female finally take ownership of her life and how she is treated and not to be involved with a man who doesn’t treat her right. Ahem, are you paying attention Rachel?

The Rachel Berry, who wanted Broadway more than oxygen, bombed her NYADA audition. How can you forget the words to “Don’t Rain On My Parade,” the song you have sung since you were 2 years old? Oh, that’s right. Somehow you managed to be more concerned about your ogre of a fiancé than your dreams. And now your dreams are left on the floor for Finn Hudson to toss aside by guessing “you’re upset and stuff.” He has more important things to worry about, like how will Puck graduate?

All this macho nonsense is getting old. It’s all about the guys being the ones on top. It’s all about them being the victors. Everyone was more preoccupied with Puck passing geography than Rachel Berry’s demise or that heavy issue that all the other girls were addressing. All the girls except Quinn because shocker- she wasn’t in the episode AT ALL. Not even a flash of blonde rolling down a hallway. Yet somehow she is an important enough of a character to be the catalyst of what appears to be 2 fights in next week’s episode. For a ghost, Quinn really knows how to throw a wedge between Finchel.

With Prom up next week, I’m hoping that we can finally get some answers about what is really happening on this show, aside from poor writing. Will Brittany graduate? What will happen to Brittana? Will Quinn walk her way to Yale? Will Tina finally get some lines? Will Finn run into Rachel’s knife 10 times? Sure, that may go against the lesson from “Choke” but desperate times call for desperate measures.

All we seem to know is that Kurt Hummel must be NYADA bound after that fantastic rendition of “Not The Boy Next Door.” If he doesn’t get accepted, then there is just no hope for this show. Yet we’ll all somehow be back for Season 4 wondering why. Not to lighten the severity of the subject, but maybe we’re the ones in the abusive relationship….

So What if You’re Wheelchair Bound? Blaine Has Brother Problems!

So let me get this straight…

If you get into a car accident that leaves you with a compressed spine and an uncertain prognosis, you will be the happiest ray of sunshine ever. You’ll go around saying things like, “Today is the best day of my life,” with an adorable smile and roll around in that wheelchair like you just met God and he/she told you that you are the perfect specimen he/she envisioned during creation.

And if you have a brother that stars in cheesy credit score commercials, you will be miserable and angsty because he is always putting you down and stealing your thunder. Your life will be so hard that you go around boxing to blow off steam and sulking before singing songs like “Fighter” because  duh, that’s what you are.


It’s pretty ironic actually; that Blaine was so mad about his brother, Cooper, stealing the show when that’s all that Blaine does in the world of Glee. For the first episode back after that horrific car crash involving QUINN, this is what we get? Brotherly drama?  And can anyone explain to me why the brothers sang a break-up love song to each other?

Last night’s episode was a disgrace not only to Quinn, but to fans who long for something tangible, not just fleeting emotions that are toyed with week after week. Sure, many (myself included) were happy that Finchel didn’t get married, but why didn’t they show that? Why couldn’t we see Quinn in the hospital rather than rolling around all happy and best friends with Artie? Why was Rachel the only one who cared about the ramifications of Quinn’s accident? Ahem, Faberry.

Why can’t this show ever do something 100% rather than a steady 50%, especially a heartfelt plot-line? ESPECIALLY with the females! *see accurate texts I received* For every intense and raw female centric storyline, there’s a male wrench thrown in to downplay the severity of it all- example: Finn outing Santana and acting like a hero, Kurt telling Quinn she hasn’t had a hard life, Artie’s misogynist ways with Tina and Brittany, Finn wanting to rip Rachel’s dreams away from her so he can clean pools.

Now with the addition of Sue’s potential Down Syndrome baby, this show is just tail spinning for those who have feelings and want serious story lines done with justice. If they’re going to go there, go there right! There is SO much potential at their fingertips and yet we’re focusing on acting lessons by Cooper Anderson. Give me a break! As usual this season, I ask myself why I still watch. Honestly, it’s because I love the cast and there’s always one song that I absolutely adore (this week it was “Up Up Up” by The Givers) that pops up and has me swaying and smiling before I go back to sulking, like Blaine.

Seems like I really am stuck with this show forever. Unless Quinn and Artie get together. Or Quinn and Teen Jesus. Then not even the power of Dianna Agron can keep me on board.

Until next week….

PS- Matt Bomer was great and I would have enjoyed his performance if it was in another episode.

Quinn Fabray Must Stay and Live Another Day

On this week’s Grey’s Anatomy, a young man attempted suicide and was under surveillance for 72 hours and a teenage girl was smashed into by a truck while texting and driving. Oh wait, it wasn’t Grey’s Anatomy? It was Glee? Could have fooled me!

The “On My Way” episode is what I am now referring to as the final straw that may just send me on my way over to Smash. I have never felt more emotionally cheated and manipulated by a television show. A comedy should make one laugh- not cry! This episode was like eating a peanut M&M without the peanut inside. Or more accurately, eating a plain M&M that does have a peanut, which you are deathly allergic to.

The reason why Glee has stopped winning awards is because it’s not funny. It’s depressing and the writing is atrocious. No one wants to watch characters that they have become attached to do absurd things like decide to get married at 17 or worse, get in a car accident that will leave them in a wheelchair!

What Glee has done to Quinn Fabray is a pure injustice to character development. It should be illegal to have a character go from a certified bitch, to 16 and pregnant, to Prom Queen crazy, to pink punk “I want my baby back”, to doing a complete 180 as she became Rachel’s friend while preparing to go to Yale and rejoining the Cheerios all in 3 seasons! And just when you want to hug her and never let go, much like Rachel, she gets HIT BY A FREAKING TRUCK!

Yes, we all know that texting and driving is dangerous and illegal but did they have to involve Quinn when she has grown so much and was supposed to be the catalyst in the Finchel wedding breakup?! I, like fans worldwide, feel emotionally cheated. Glee has toyed with our feelings and exploited us knowing that regardless of how mad we are, that we will tune in to watch after the 7 week hiatus because we need answers. We need to know what happens to Quinn/Dianna Agron.  We need to know if the Finchel wedding got called off. Many really just want to know when Faberry is going to happen and others just want to find out if Quinn winds up paralyzed, rolling around in her wheelchair for life. AND MARK MY CAPS LOCKED WORDS- I WILL STOP WATCHING IF QUINN AND ARTIE START DATING!

I just have a lot of feelings, okay? Don’t judge me, judge the writers for ruining an amazing show, potentially ruining the pure hearts of the fans, and for ruining any chance of saving the show if they do in fact paralyze Quinn.

Unless it can all be a dream. Maybe we’ll find out it was just an alternate universe to show us what could have happened if Rachel and Finn went through with the wedding. Oh right, that would be clever writing and Glee is not capable of that. Instead we’re forced to have this bitter taste in our mouths for 7 weeks. But let’s not lose all hope…  Grey’s Anatomy did have an alternate reality episode 2 weeks ago.

Sometimes Glee Makes You Want To Scream

What happens when the King of Pop meets the kids of McKinley High School? Eccentricity and a little bit of “did they just do that?” set to the sounds of some of the best songs from the last several decades.

As usual with Glee lately, it’s hard to tell if you enjoyed an episode or are too thrown off course by the lack of continuity in the writing that you just say, “Well, there’s always next week.” I’m still hoping for a week when Blaine and the Warblers don’t exist and are forgotten the same way Tina is left swaying in the background, unseen and unheard. But no, even with Blaine in New Directions, the Warblers are ever-present with their synchronized voices and uniforms that are more irritating than snazzy.

In 3 seasons, slushies have only been thrown by the popular jocks of McKinley, but last night Sebastian Warbler managed to toss one at Blaine after a somewhat corny rendition of the great Martin Scorsese directed “Bad” video. Naturally, Blaine suffers eye damage from the rock salt filled slushie and suddenly everyone is utterly fed up with bullying because poor Blaine got hurt. What about Kurt being tossed in a garbage can, Artie being trapped in a port-a-potty, and every single Glee club member being slushied numerous times? Oh right, they’re not Darren Criss.

Sadly, it seems like the Warblers won’t be going anywhere anytime soon, but Quinn is. She’s going to Yale. Except that was basically a nonchalant way of saying Dianna Agron will sadly not be returning next season. Now who will be the only one to offer logical advice to Rachel and sing beautiful renditions of “Never Can Say Goodbye”?

It’s unfortunate that Rachel doesn’t understand the concept of goodbyes and immaturely accepted Finn’s marriage proposal. Sure, she may have only done it because she was under the impression that she wasn’t a finalist for NYADA, but what does that say about the show’s writers? Oh right, that they suck! How can the strongest character suddenly have no backbone? How can the best singer actually partake in singing “Ben,” by far the worst song of the episode. Where was the “Billie Jean”? Or “Beat It”? She should have sung “Beat It” to Finn and made for a real happy ending.

Except this is TV, where sometimes what’s supposed to be entertainment can be just as painful to watch as reality. For every amazing moment-  Santana and the cellos in Smooth Criminal – there’s a slushie tossed in your face.

Just remember, it’s always applicable to scream out your frustrations just like Artie and Mike did in what was definitely the best Jackson-esque part of the show .