Chelsea Handler, I Hate YOU!

Dear Chelsea Handler,

Lately you’ve been sitting atop a high horse. I’m here to tell you that that the things coming out of your mouth are more vile than the excrement the horse releases. Not even kidding.

What you said over the weekend in Newark about Angelina Jolie was not only disrespectful, disgraceful and disgusting, but it was a reminder that you do not deserve to be on stage. You are a “comedian” and even that could be argued since you have never made me laugh. Your “job” is to make fun of others for a living. What does that say about you? You must be so insecure and self conscious that you need to bring others down to feel better about yourself.

You want to crack jokes, go ahead. But don’t insult someone like Jolie and call her a “C U Next Tuesday” just because your new BFFL is Jennifer Aniston. Don’t insult her for adopting and take a stab at her son Maddox. How dare you! What kind of human being makes fun of someone who was adopted and given a child a chance at a better life? Only you! You are so heartless and untalented that it actually hurts.

If I actually cared about you, I would feel bad for you Chelsea. Clearly you are one lost and delusional human being. You project all this hate towards Jolie because you are jealous. You are jealous that she is more successful, talented, and beautiful than you are while you are both the same age. You’re jealous that she has a happy family life while you’re single and miserable.  Now you’re spiteful because you think you’re cool that you went to Mexico with Jennifer Aniston for Thanksgiving.  Misery loves company. So you know what? If you want to play the Team Aniston card so much then why don’t you just date Jennifer and “make it all better” if you think you’re such a superior human being than everyone else.

In fact, Jennifer would be an upgrade from your last beau, 50 Cent. Or your 20-years-your-senior- boss at E! that you dated just so your show could be renewed.

You have no class Ms. Handler. Keep your Jolie comments between you and your Friend.


Your #1 Non-Fan


Are You There Vodka? Tell Chelsea to Stop Drinking

Chelsea Handler was just announced as the host of the 2010 VMAs. It’s fitting since the awards are usually a joke that they’d have something equally as laughable as a host- and I don’t mean her comedic skills.

I’ve watched Chelsea Lately more than enough to know I’m not a fan. The show just doesn’t do anything for me, nor does Chelsea. Yet I understand that some people consider her show to be a religious obligation. But when I got wind of her comments about Angelina Jolie Wednesday night, I was even more inclined to not tune in to her show again because she committed blasphemy in my religion.

With Jennifer Aniston as the guest, Chelsea went on an Anti-Angelina tirade poking fun at her parenting style sarcastically saying “What a fun mom! You are so fun kitty cat. You go girl!” regarding a joke Angelina played on Maddox. She then went on to say, “You’re evil and everyone knows it.”

Oh no she didn’t!

While Angelina doesn’t care about what’s said about her, and possibly has no idea who Chelsea is, I’d like to come to her defense and shed light on some key areas of Chelsea’s weakness. Sometimes jealousy is so apparent that it’s blinding:

1. Born in 1975, Chelsea is the same age as Angelina. I wonder who looks like perfection and is the bigger star….

2. Chelsea took part of an Internet show called “In With Mom.” That’s interesting, seeing how Chelsea is not a mom. Maybe she wants to be and clearly has baby envy.

3. Apparently Chelsea’s guest are usually on the low brow. Having Jennifer Aniston was therefore a big deal. Way to be a kiss ass and try to make your first celebrity bond on air. Aww

4. Chelsea and her boyfriend broke up in January. What’s the best way to deal with a breakup? Hate on everyone else who’s happy and in love.

There’s a fine line between being a comedian and taking personal stabs at people. Keep drinking that Hater-aid Chelsea, it’s really doing wonders for you.

Jennifer Aniston vs. Bill O’Reilly

FoxNews likes to make something out of nothing every chance they can get. Bill O’Reilly in particular likes to tell people to “shut up.” If you haven’t seen OutFoxed, please Netflix it now.

While promoting The Switch, a film about artificial insemenation, Jennifer Aniston made the following comment:

“Women are realizing more and more that you don’t have to settle, they don’t have to fiddle with a man to have that child.”

O’Reilly and his Barbie wanna be minions, Hoover and Carlson, went on the offensive attacking Aniston in ways that are just plain wrong and ignorant. O’Reilly is upset that the actress is diminishing “the role of the dad” and that she is telling 12 year old girls  it’s okay if they don’t have fathers for their children. Way to take a comment out of context.

Making light of Aniston’s personal life and calling her a “41 year old single woman” is honestly so 1950s. Just because a woman does not marry does not make her any less of a woman. Carlson further stated “Why would you want that?” in regards to being a single mother or in a same sex relationship.

FoxNews wants to further push their ideologies that women are supposed to marry men and make babies. If not they must either be insane, gay, or a danger to society with their views. Give me a break!

Aniston made a simple and TRUE comment. Women DON’T need men anymore.  They can find alternate means to creation. It can be by unfortunate circumstances, by choice, or even lack of desire but the fact that they still want to have a family really says something about them. These women have hearts and love that they want to give to a child. Just because they don’t want to wait to share that with a man who will likely abandon them one way or another doesn’t make them any less woman; it makes them admirable.

I am Team Aniston on this one.